This weekend, 50 lbs of blue potato seedlings were found laid to burial on local Fallywalker Farm. A gruesome spectacle- as the victims were sliced open several times, left to callus in the hot sun, and finally disposed into several bizarre hand dug trenches.
Their original place of birth was Wood Prairie Farm in Northern Maine. Surviving parent, Mean Mr. Fallywalker, reflects on the recent travesty that is being hailed locally as the “Great Tater Trenching of 2009″…
“They will be remembered always… unique, special…and I loved them all dearly. So young, but they brought so much joy to our lives- a real primo ‘stache of certified organic seed potatoes… getting in many cases 3-4 slices per seed with plenty of eyes for sprouting. Now, planting potatoes is not easy work… our trenches were dug the old fashioned way by shovel… and 50 lbs turned out to be approximately 1200 seeds. Back breaking stuff & the work is not done yet… the ‘taters are covered in soil, but we still need to hit them with some compost covering this week… and later, some straw covering as they sprout from the ground. ”
Some time later, investigators re-read Fallywalker’s statement and realized he may have been behind the whole thing after all. “It just seems to fit… the blue stained fingertips… his almost confession-like statement. With over 17 years on the job as an officer, I can make leaps like this one. It was definately Mr. Fallywalker with the shovel, and we are looking for more charges to nail the bastard on”, commented officer Glenny of the local police force.